Unfortunately, blogging has become a low priority in recent weeks/months and, quite frankly, I hate that it has. I enjoying reading blogs, and feel like a cheater if I don't post on my own. 2007 is supposed to be my self-proclaimed "year of me" and I am already slacking off on my own personal commitments to a better sense of self.

I know that I portray myself completely differently on the Shrinkers blog, but the truth is this: my life is taking a downward spiral. As was indicated by the post right before this one, my marriage is in very shaky ground right now, and I do not know how to fix it especially since I am 1/2 to blame for its steady demise. Although if you asked Chris, he would say that it is all my fault. And, who knows, he may be right, but I just can't take full responsibility. I am not the only one who brought emotional baggage into this relationship. I want to elaborate, but since I am not sure if he reads this blog, I am going to refrain from specifics.

As I embark on my 10th year of marriage and approach my 40th year on this planet, the pull of change is so strong that I just cannot deny it any longer. Perhaps I should "lay my cards on the table" and see what happens. It may not be as bad as I think it is, or it could be worse.

All that I know is that I can't feel much worse that I do at this very minute.

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary.

Sometimes I really hate being married.

When did I lose sight of "me" in the past 9 years, and how do I find her?